Networking: Finding People Who Want to Do Business with You

The Ins and Outs of Networking  Effectively

When it comes to effectively networking and building your business relationships with people have you ever felt like a “Starvin Marvin”?  “Starvin Marvin’s” are people who are really talented and have  lots of value but struggle to get enough clients. You know you have something great and the market place is your banquet place but you seem to have lost your card to get in.  When  you have have effectively built your network  you have an access  card to the “all you can eat” buffet of referrals  and you get anything your heart requires.

Below is a step-by-step action plan to creating your own networking strategy and how to create connections with people who WANT to do business with you.

1. Make a List

The first step is to make a list of everyone you know.  You can make a physical list to start but eventually I recommend you use software like Cardscan.net, Linkedin, Plaxo or Aweber.com. These programs allow you to customize your lists and stay connected to your network in a professional yet effective way.

Your next step is to identify your top 20 people on the list who can help you or introduce you to someone who can… Include everyone you know, (Business contacts, friends, family, social contacts, organization members etc.).  Do your best to not to prejudge who can help you.  Begin with the people who know you best and desire to see you succeed.

2. Call Them/Make an Appointment

Call them up or send them an email explaining what you are doing and what you need.  Systematically begin to with the people on your list.  Tell them that you value their opinion and need their advice.  Offer them an opportunity to share what they need with you and find out how you can help them too.

This has been my MOST successful tactic getting referrals.  Everyone loves to feel important and give their opinion.  I have never been refused when I have offered a sincere opportunity to meet with someone to help.  You gain something valuable from every appointment and you will have developed a deeper connection with someone in your network that will eventually refer you.

3. Develop a Networking Plan/Marketing Strategy

Before you meet with someone, develop a plan to let others know what you are doing and how they can help you.  Have a set of questions to elicit information.  Implement this plan and expand your circles of influence.  Join chambers, networking organizations.  Build a presence in your community.

Build relationships with people. People like to do business with people they know and LIKE.  Think of your self as a resource for everyone you meet.  Not just as a prospect for your self.  My best strategy early in my career when I didn’t have a strong network was to have coffee and meet people to find out what their problems were and how I could help.  I would make it a point to find the resource they needed.  The outcome was they felt supported and they in turn felt compelled to look out for me and find me the resources I needed.  Imagine having a free army of people acting as your personal sales force. That is what an effective networking system can do for you.

Ask as if you expect to get help. When it comes to networking or building strong relationships your attitude and mindset is EVERYTHING.  The main reason why people struggle to be successful is that they are unwilling or unable to ask for what they want.  We fear rejection,  worry that we aren’t good enough or fail to ask because we are afraid to l appear pushy, greedy etc.  Remember this old adage…”the squeaky wheel gets the oil?”  Well it is true and to receive success you must first ask.

Here is how you can do it effectively:

Ask clear and specific. Ask for what you REALLY want.  Most people ask for what they think they can get. The BIGGEST MISTAKE is asking for “someone” or “anybody” I personally have never met a “someone” and I don’t refer just “anybody”.  Speak in a way that creates a mental picture and opens up my brain to a specific person.”

Tell me who specifically you would like to meet.

Ask from the heart. This is SO important.  Networking is about sharing.  Sharing resources and sharing trust. Remember the main reason why people do business together is because they like and trust each other.  Tell people why you want to work with them.  Why you feel that you are a good resource to share with their network of people.  Sincerity speaks louder than any sale pitch.

Ask with humor and creativity. Create a compelling commercial or way of remembering you and what you need.  In networking groups a common thing to have is a 30-Second Commercial or memorable tag line.  Creativity and humor connects people faster that professional talk.  Make people laugh and they will remember you.

Give in order to get. Always remember givers gain and relationships are an investment not an ATM machine (At least not right away).  It takes time to build trust.  With that said the best way to cultivate that feeling and get people to help you is to help them solve a problem they have first.  My best referrals have been from people who never bought from me but appreciated how I helped them solve a problem.  They always remembered that and went out of their way to grow my success.

Ask repeatedly. One of the biggest networking mistakes that I see salespeople and business owners make is not asking enough.  They make one call and then they don’t follow through.  Networking studies have been done that show most people fall short of a sale not because the prospect is not interested but because the sales person failed to follow up.  If you need sales quickly follow your competition around.  I promise they are leaving a trail of breadcrumbs right to your prospects that they have gotten all excited about your product but failed to close the deal.

Don’t be Afraid of the No’s. Rejection is not personal.  When someone says no they are not saying no to you.  They are saying they are not interested in the product or opportunity at this time.  Today’s no is really a maybe. A maybe is really, give me more information. Keep in touch and stay involved.  Look beyond the no and build the relationship. Find out what they need and help them get it. This is the fastest way to build your networking strategy that attracts people who want to do business with you.

Networking is one of the MOST EFFECTIVE and LOW COST ways to market your business you just need to know where to start

Are Women Better at Marketing Themselves Than Men?

Are women better at marketing themselves than men?

I have found that women are MUCH MORE WILLING to “put their money where their mouth is” when it comes to marketing themselves or their services. Is it possible they feel a greater NEED?  Why is there such a difference?

Okay, guys, don’t take this the wrong way, but I think it comes down to how boys and girls are raised and the male ego. We all know the differences between men and women are ENDLESS! (Thank goodness, for the most part.) But I have found that women accept that they often have to work harder and pony-up for greater marketing exposure than the average man. Men are raised to be naturally self-promoting. They learn early in life to stand up for themselves and to be more aggressive. Their egos carry them through battles unlike anything women have to deal with.

Is it natural for women to become better at marketing themselves?

Women, as little girls, are often raised to be gentle and delicate. When those women grow up and enter the workforce, they find that they must speak up and tell the world that they count, that they are smart, and that they can do the job (whatever that job may be). These qualities are expected from men. But, if a woman doesn’t take control of the necessary marketing for herself, who will? Women often feel the need to tell the world about their strengths.

Women have also been found to be better at NETWORK marketing because they are better at building relationships.

Women take business more personally, which may not always be a good thing, but it does result in deeper, more personalized business connections.

A study by Copernicus Marketing said that women are better listeners, more collaborative, they understand the importance of developing an emotional connection with a brand (or themselves), and that they have been socialized as “influencers,” whereas “men tend to demonstrate managerial qualities that reflect a more military-like command and control.” It’s just natural for men to EXPECT to ascend to leadership (or managerial) positions. Do men become leaders because of their expectations?

I offer motivational speakers many marketing opportunities. The women who sign up outnumber the men by as much as 3-to-1 most of the time. Are there other explanations? Perhaps men prefer to handle their marketing by working with other men, instead of working with women. Do you find that you are more comfortable working with the same sex when marketing your business?

A “Special Secret” for Building Your Business

Do you know the “Special Secret” for building your business?

In the past 24 hours, were you made to feel special in any way? Did someone send you a handwritten “thank you” note? Did you receive a gift basket? Maybe someone called to invite you to lunch as their guest. My guess is that your answer is “no.” Now think back to the last time you were on the receiving end of ANY of these gestures. I’ll bet it’s been a WHILE … hasn’t it? And I’ll guarantee that your clients would say it’s been some time since anyone made THEM feel special, either.

My friend, Phil, a marketing consultant, went out of his way earlier this week to introduce two professionals who work in the same industry, believing that they could take mutually benefit from a business relationship. He took the time to send an e-mail to the two people, stating what each of them did and how they might be able to build their business as a result of working with one another. That was a few days ago, and he still hasn’t heard from either one. Phil’s act of kindness was not even acknowledged!

 Are you doing all you can when it comes to building your business, including following up on leads?

 How about thanking people for making introductions that could ultimately put money in your pocket? Taking the time to make other people feel special is one of the best, most fulfilling ways to build your business. Whenever someone connects with you on Linked In or Facebook, do you just accept or confirm? It only takes a minute to respond with a cheerful, “Thanks for connecting; please let me know how I can help you.” You’ll be surprised at the results you’ll achieve. In fact, I recently accepted a friend request on Facebook from a woman near the city where I grew up. I asked her if we went to school together. Her reply? “No, but you went to school with my sister.” That was just a few months ago. Today, that woman is a client of mine; she’s hired me as her mentor AND she is going to appear in a personal development movie I am producing. I benefitted and have ALL THIS as the result of responding PERSONALLY to a Facebook friend request! Talk about building your business!

Professional decency seems all but lost, lately.  And with today’s technology, it has never been easier to reach out to someone or send a quick “thank you” note. You don’t even have to buy a card and put a stamp on it. A quick acknowledgement or “thank you” with an e-mail is all you need to do to make someone feel important and appreciated. If you know any personal facts about the people you are working with, be sure to inquire about those, such as the status of their family, children, dog, new home, or even a new hair style.

When building your business, make notes on any information your clients share.

I would always do this. Then, weeks later, when I would ask, “How is your son doing in school, now that you’ve hired a tutor?” my clients would respond enthusiastically. I could tell they were impressed that I remembered our conversation and what they were dealing with at the time. I made them feel special!

When it comes to building your business, there is nothing you can do that will net bigger results for you than making the people you work with feel special.

Go out of your way to put others first and see what you can do for THEM, and they will want to do for you, too.  In fact, I call it the “special secret for sales success.” It’s just the act of making others feel special.

Do you know how long you have to return a phone call or e-mail? It is 24 hours. We are all guilty of not meeting that deadline on rare occasions, but if you consistently fail to return calls or emails, you run the risk of offending people. Even if you would take a moment to dash off a quick note to let someone know you are at deadline, you are overwhelmed at the time, or whatever the reason is that you can’t give a proper reply, people will appreciate it. Otherwise, those people will likely feel neglected or ignored. 

Yesterday, I shared a tremendous source for leads with a colleague. She immediately e-mailed me some information I can use. When you do favors for others – out of the goodness of your heart – others will want to return the favor to you. And if they don’t? You’ll still feel good about doing all you can to grow your business! For more on the “Special Secret for Sales Success,” or to share any stories from your own experience that stand out, please visit my site at www.RobinJay.com or send a quick email to me at Robin@RobinJay.com. Following these tips will have you building your business beyond your wildest dreams!

Families in Crisis

Families in Crisis – How to deal with Family Conflict

Solutions for Family Conflict

Family conflict is not unusual.  Families deal with conflict everyday.  While family relationships can bring support, care and nurture, it can also bring pain and heartache, especially when conflicts go on without resolution.  Some families deal with minor issues like arguing about household chores or unpaid bills. Others deal with major issues like having a child strung out on drugs, alcoholism, teen pregnancy or molestation.  These issues are so serious that some families never recover from the fallout.

How should we deal with conflict in the family? Some seek professional help, others rely on their faith in God and some give up and refuse to deal with the issues at hand.  The following steps are suggested ideas to help families resolve conflict more effectively:

*State the situation.  Be able to articulate what is really happening.  Resolving family conflict begins with truth. Don’t gloss over the situation.  A child that is molested by a parent may experience guilt and shame and as a result find it difficult to state what has happened to him.  Unfortunately, the need to voice what has happened will manifest itself in other ways.  Being able to communicate effectively is one way families can deal with conflict and resolve issues.

*Evaluate the situation.  Why is this problem occurring?  Know how the family conflict started.  This will require family members to trace the problem back to the root cause.  It is always better to go to the source of the problem.    

*Identify possible solutions to the problem.  The desired outcome should be to bring healing to the family and resolve the conflict. In some cases, a possible solution may be for a family member to apologize for the offense.  Pride is one of the major reason issues in families go unresolved. Refusing to offer an apology can cause tension and bitterness.  Someone has to be the first to admit that they are wrong. 

*Decide on the best solution.  Settle on a plan and follow through to resolve the conflict. This is very difficult for many families because it may be hard to get all of the parties involved to agree on the plan of action.  The offender may not confess to the wrong-doing; which could prolong the tension.

*Forgive.  Our willingness to forgive does not cancel out the actions of those who have hurt us, but it can liberate us from the torment of it.  Forgiving the offender can alleviate family conflict and put you on a path to wholeness.

Don’t forget, you have to deal with family conflict in order to solve it.

The 10 Biggest Networking Mistakes

Networking events can be nerve-wracking … even for the most savvy socializers

Learn the 10 biggest networking mistakes and how to avoid them

Most of us have made mistakes, and end up wishing we had a time machine to travel back to a networking event so we could take back those horrible things we said or did. Have you ever engaged in a conversation with someone before you knew who you’re talking to, only to find out that you’ve been saying the WRONG things to the WRONG person? Maybe you’re simply challenged by trying to eat, hold your drink, shake hands, and pass out business cards all at the same time. Well, you’re not alone.

Networking events can be challenging IF you’re not prepared! Being prepared can help anyone to come across like the talented professional they really are. Here are the BIGGEST mistakes to avoid when networking:

1. “Surely one little drink won’t hurt!” Think again. Getting drunk or even a little sloppy in front of new acquaintances can ruin your chances of ever winning them over. Drinking clouds your judgment, so take it easy!  Alternate alcoholic drinks with water or plain soda.
2. Make sure you eat something first. If you’re attending a cocktail mixer, grab a bite to eat on your way or as soon as you get there. I assure you it is IMPOSSIBLE to juggle a plate of food, a napkin, a cocktail, business cards (giving and receiving) AND shake hands. Remember that lunch was hours ago and any alcohol will be hitting an empty stomach!
3. NEVER talk with food in your mouth. When I was writing my book, “The Art of the Business Lunch”, absolutely everyone told me to include this advice. Apparently there are many business professionals who still don’t know not to talk with their mouths full! Always take small bites so that if called upon to speak, you can swallow quickly before speaking.
4. Always be kind and courteous to everyone, no matter what! Being rude to anyone, even if they’ve just spilled a drink on you, only makes you look bad. Remember that any networking event is an opportunity for people to get to know you. How we react to challenges reveals our character. This is easier to remember when things are going well. Having a great reaction when things are bad is an opportunity to impress those around you.
5. NEVER bad-mouth your competition. People aren’t stupid; they will figure out that if you are saying bad things about your competition, you may say bad things about them, too, when they aren’t looking. You can build better business relationships by out-servicing and out-performing your competition.
6. AVOID awkward silence by being prepared for casual conversation. Become well informed on a LOT of different topics. Try to watch 20 minutes of a national morning news show, read a variety of magazines – particularly industry-specific publications, and be up on the latest in pop culture. This should give you a wide platform of knowledge so that you can participate in nearly any conversation. And avoid any controversial subjects – especially in a political year!
7. Always tip generously! Whether the networking event you’re attending has a cash bar or a hosted bar, always tip your bartender or server generously. Not only is it the right thing to do, but it’s important to take care of the people who are taking care of you. If a new client or prospect perceives you as cheap, they may be put off.
8. Don’t sit with your friends. One of the hardest things for us to do is to mingle with strangers. We naturally gravitate toward our comfort zone, seeking out people we know. While a networking event offers the opportunity to see old friends and associates, the main purpose is to meet new people so you can expand your circle. Dread talking to strangers? Try playing host or hostess; offer to bring food or drinks over to your table and make a positive impression.
9. Don’t criticize ANYTHING! We’ve all been served terrible fare at networking events. Making a big deal about a lousy buffet or fishy-smelling sushi appetizers could make others associate the bad food with YOU! Everything – from the room to the turnout to the food should be referred to as “exceptional” or “outstanding.” People prefer to be around positive people, so always try to be positive about everything.
10. Take your business cards or stay home! I have been handed phone numbers scribbled on cocktail napkins; I typically throw them away the next day. A networking event is for business and business cards are essential. They provide your name, your position or title, your company name and website, and ways to contact you – including e-mail, direct number, and cell. Keep a stash of cards in your car so that if you run out or forget, you will have some handy.

Enjoying a social setting with new friends and colleagues is the best way to develop relationships. Between breakfasts, lunches and networking mixers, the average professional has more than 400 opportunities each year to meet new people and expand their network. Being prepared for these opportunities and knowing what behavior to avoid is the first step toward assuring networking success.

Relationship Problems: Who goes first?

When we have relationship problems, when our relationships are in trouble, many of us have a habit of waiting for the other person to go first.

That puts the other person in charge of the relationship AND the relationship problems. Is that what you really want to do?

Working with people in conflict, both at work and at home, I see this all the time. The hue and cry is:

“If only he/she/they would ….”

So, is that other he, she or they really the one in control, the one who alone can change the circumstance, condition or situation? Is he, she or they in charge of your relationship problems?  I don’t think so. But it’s convenient to keep it in that compartment! Then, you don’t have to do anything.

A vicious circle, as you see. I can go on blaming the other person, making them wrong and justifying my behavior because I’m waiting for them to go first.  We use phrases like:

“If s/he wanted to talk about it, we would talk.”
“It’s best to let sleeping dogs lie.”
“They are impossible to talk to, so, I’m not going there.”
“There is nothing to be gained from bringing it up.”
“It will only go from bad to worse if we try to talk.”
“Let’s not air our dirty laundry.”
“I don’t want the hassle.”
“That’s just the way they are.”

What’s interesting about all those phrases is they can be true, or they can be excuses for taking no personal action to move the relationship onto a better footing. It’s important to ask ourselves if we are making excuses—and, by the way, both reasons and excuses have the same dictionary definition, so don’t go there—to avoid taking personal responsibility for the state of the relationship.

WHY DON’T WE MANAGE RELATIONSHIP PROBLEMS?

There are many reasons why we avoid conflict:

• It scares us.
• We know we don’t have the skills to do it well.
• We have been taught to “be seen and not heard.”
• We have had bad experiences previously.
• We simply don’t care about the relationship.
• We are better at justifying our position when there is no conversation.
• We have other people who think the same way as we do and we want to keep playing on that team.
• We need to think the other person is inferior or wrong so that we can feel superior and right.
• We would have to acknowledge change, and denial would be difficult to maintain.

If your relationship is flagging, festering or floundering, are you waiting for the other person to go first?  It might be time to wake up and smell the herbal tea, to step up and take the bull by the horns, or, to, at least, open the conversation and find out what’s possible. And, if you cannot find solutions to relationship problems alone, it is wise to use mediation services.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Rhoberta Shaler, PhD, is a peace catalyst and relationship mediator.  She makes it easier for her clients—individuals, couples and teams—to talk about difficult things. Dr. Shaler is a catalyst for resolving relationship issues healthily and recovering from relationship issues wisely, at home and at work. She is an expert in communication, conflict management and collaboration.  Well-known for her gentle, effective blend of humor and practical wisdom, Dr. Shaler shares her insights on finding solutions to relationship problems as a mediator, consultant, counselor, coach and keynote speaker.  Author of more than a dozen books and audio programs,  Dr. Shaler is the founder of Sow Peace™ International and ADR at Work. in San Diego, CA. You can download her free e-book,  receive notice of her blog postings and learn more  at SowPeace.com and  ADRatWork.com

Follow her on LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/rhobertashaler